|Samantha (Baby #1) 3 days old <3|
I remember while pregnant with Samantha feeling kind of sad. Don’t get me wrong, I was SO happy we were finally pregnant. It was definitely my desire I was praying for. But I knew that overseas trips, spontaneous movies nights (to an actual theater), and the carefree life of just being a couple would end. I knew I would miss that. These thoughts kind of got in the way of my bonding process with Samantha while she was in my belly. It was hard for me to actually grasp that a person was in there. I didn’t actually bond with her until she was born. Then, WOW I finally understood the love a parent feels. I look back fondly on our lifestyle as a couple, but I thoroughly enjoy us as a family of three.
Well I’ve grown so accustom to it just being the three of us now. We knew we wanted more kids…definitely, but with how difficult it was to get pregnant with Samantha I assumed it would be similar with baby #2. Surprise!!!!! Not the case, which is so awesome. I LOVE that they will be so close in age. But again, I’m having a hard time bonding with my baby belly. I’m kind of grieving a bit because it won’t just be me and my girl anymore . I’m SO in girl mode. Funny enough I used to only want boys and now I’m trying to program myself to get back in the boy mode. I know once my eyes fall on him that I will fall so head over heals in love and will probably feel ashamed for this minor “grieving” that I’m experiencing. I’m sure being constantly uncomfortable and hormonal doesn’t help either.
I’m excited. Excited to hold my little man in my arms and just soak in the bonding that will happen and end this bummer period. I will embrace being a family of 4 (and a half if you count Daphne) and he’s going to be such a light in this household. I’m praying he’ll arrive at 37 weeks nice and plump just like his big sister did. So there you go. My honest blog post about baby #2. Not super warm and fuzzy, but it will be once he’s here =)